A Plea To Angelina

Maddox is such a dude! Angelina picked the best banana in the bunch when she adopted this kid.

Angelina and Maddox are in Vietnam right now picking up Maddox's new little brother, who is to be named Pax Thien Jolie.

Angelina! This is a cry to you! Don't adopt that baby! Please! I have a better idea. Adopt me! I'm needy. I come from a broken home with 4 brothers and 1 sister. What could be more third-world than me?

I'd be a perfect big brother for Maddox. I'd rub his feet, fetch his toys, wipe his chin, play his pet - he can even put a collar and leash on me and take me for walks around the neighborhood. I'd even crawl on all fours, well, except where there is gravel... that shit can really hurt the knees.... don't ask how I know this, it may impede our adoption process. Jonathan Jolie-Pitt. Nice ring.

Getting adopted by the Jolie-Pitt couple is like winning the freakin' lottery. Imagine. A lottery for babies. I've never won anything in my entire life. I want something free too! Damn it!